


The Mostly Unfabulous Love Life of Harry Styles

by TomliTheGreat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other, Slash / Genderswap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:18:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomliTheGreat/pseuds/TomliTheGreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles, is a good person to the world at large, he feeds the homeless,<br/>helps children in need, has the voice of an angel and the mind of a poet.<br/>But Harry Styles is also a womanizing heart-breaker, and when his ex's decide<br/>to the rid the world of Harry Styles Fate steps in on his behalf, however<br/>fate it seems, is not without a sense of homour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fate has a sick sense of humour

Exclusive!, Pop star Harry Styles, the Ladies man of boy band One Direction, found dead in his flat,  
just three days after having been caught leaving the home of X-Tra factor presenter Caroline Flack.  
Taylor Swift, Styles’ long-time girlfriend was unavailable for comment, amidst rumors of Styles’ infidelity.  
just two weeks ago Styles was seen canoodling with Danielle Peazer, a dancer for the band, and previous  
to that he was seen with Hollister model Eleanor Calder. 

Styles’ body was found by long-time friend, Radio1 host Nick Grimshaw, in the early morning hours,  
of February 19, 2013 just one day before One Direction was set to perform at this year’s BRITS.  
One Direction’s future now uncertain with the loss of Styles, the bands lyricist and lead vocalist.  
A ceremony to be held this weekend for friends and family to say goodbye to the late Styles.

**_Meanwhile, somewhere…_ **

Harry found himself naked and alone, surrounded by an endless gray mist. The only beacon  
to be found in the ethereal mist, was a glowing white sphere in the distance. He walked toward it  
for what seemed like days, and as he approached, it spoke to him.

“Mortal, you have been measured and found wanting.” Said the sphere in a booming  
voice that filled Harry with both a sense of awe and terror at once.

“What? Where am I? What’s happening to me?” Harry asked, becoming nervous at the  
spheres words.

“We are Orici, we decide the fate of those who are dead.” 

“Dead!?” exclaimed Harry, “I can’t be dead, this-this is just some freaky dream, Eleanor  
put something in my drink. Come on Harry, wake up.” He said, pinching himself. 

“Wah, this is a dream, wah wake up, blah blah blah, what is it with mortals and this  
disbelief? You’re all going to die, and you all know it, yet they all act like it’s such a surprise when it happens to them.”  
Spoke a third voice, this time it was clearly a woman’s voice. Though it  
sounded far from friendly. “You Harry Styles are a womanizer and that means YOU belong to me.”

“Now Mephistopheles, this one’s misdeeds are not deserving of eternal torment.” Spoke  
the sphere.

“He’s mine!” exclaimed the woman now appearing at Harry’s side, no visible face just a  
black shadowy form against the gray mist. “He’s a breaker of hearts, all his life he played with  
women, for no better reason than because he could, and that makes him mine.”

 

“Eternal torment!? What, you can’t send me to hell, those women loved me, and I loved them.”  
Cried Harry, figuring if he couldn’t wake himself up, then he was going to play along with this freaky  
dream.

“We decide his fate Mephistopheles, and we have not yet done so.” Said the sphere, “Now mortal  
you must prove that you are worthy of Elysium, otherwise you go to the underworld forever.”

“How?” asked Harry, “How am I supposed to prove I’m not a bad person? I’m just not ok,  
I never hurt anyone intentionally, and yes I know I’ve been with a lot of women, but I cared about  
all of them, I swear. You can’t fault me for having a lot of love to give.”

“Hah! He’s never known what love is, all his life he used women, and in then end that’s  
why his ‘lovers’ drowned him in his own home, he corrupted them and so they killed him.”

“I’ve done good things in my life too, I helped feed the homeless, and helped the children  
in need in Africa, please don’t send me to hell, give me a chance, I can be good, I promise.”

“Hm…an intriguing thought, what do you suggest?” 

“Send me back, give me a chance to prove I’m a good person, that not everyone hates me.  
Let me prove that there’s someone out there who loves me.”

“No one loves you Styles, you’ve done nothing but use people, you drove your own mother  
to drinking, your sister didn’t even show up at your funeral, and because of your lies your own  
band mates will hate you soon enough, you blew the advance your label paid you on women  
and drugs, they’ll be left in the streets all because of you. No Harry Styles, you’re going to the  
underworld, where you belong.”

“ENOUGH!” boomed the voice of the sphere, “We are Orici, we decide the fate of those  
who are dead, you would be wise to remember your place, King of Hell.”

“Harold Edward Styles, we grant you this one chance to find one among your people who  
truly loves you, as person. From this moment you have one year, as your kind reckon time should  
you fail, you will go to the underworld for all time.” The booming voice of the sphere proclaimed.

The light dimmed, and Harry began to fade. He felt himself slipping the nothingness around  
him fading away, he began to feel weighed down as if in a deep sleep.

“Wait!!” exclaimed Mephistopheles.  
“Yes, what is now?” Questioned the voice Orici.

“This isn’t fair, I object to this!” said Mephistopheles. “If you send him back as a man he’ll  
just find some lonely secretary and get her to fall in love with him, it isn’t fair.”

“What do you suggest?” asked Orici.

“Send him back, but take away the only means he has to cheat his fate, so that this  
chance you’ve granted him will be truly fair.”

**_Back in London_**

BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! A groggy Harry woke to the sound of his alarm. Reaching for his  
phone to turn off the offending noise, before turning back to his pillow. Harry vaguely remembered  
having some freaky dream about a talking ball of light. 

**_A few hours later_ **

“Good morning London, it’s June 21st , I’m Kim Bardock and you’re listening to the  
Radio1 Breakfast show. Grimmy won’t be joining us today, but we have Zayn Malik of One Direction  
with us in the studio on this bright summer morning. We’ll be discussing the bands future  
after a four month break due to the passing of former front man Harry Styles. Styles was found  
dead in his flat in London in mid-February of this year by our very own Nick Grimshaw  
just one days before the BRITS where the band was set to debut their last single  
“One Way Or Another” for the Comedy Relief charity. Thanks for joining us love.”

“Thanks for having me,” Replied a tired looking Zayn.

“Tell me, how’s One Direction’s future looking since the loss of Harry, I know it must  
be especially hard for you, as I understand it, you he and Niall were friends since primary?”

“It’s been really tough, with him gone, Harry did the majority of the writing for our album,  
and while Niall and I have been working hard at it trying to complete our third album, we’ve been  
under a lot of pressure from our management recently. I can’t really get into the details for legal  
reasons but Harry left us in a bad way. He alienated a lot of talented writers and now they refuse  
to work with us and it’s just been really tough to keep going without him, but Niall and I aren’t  
giving up. We’ve been talking to Simon and we’ll have a big announcement soon about the bands  
future, and I want to take a minute to say thank you to all the fans for all your support since Harry’s  
death, it really means a lot to us that you’ve stuck with us, we’re so lucky to have you and we’ve  
never forgotten that.”

 

After the interview Zayn made his way to Harry’s flat in Camden Town, it’d been four months  
since Harry died and he hadn’t had the heart to set foot there. Harry’s family had stayed quiet about  
the ordeal, his mother hadn’t said a word at the funeral and his sister hadn’t even shown up for the  
service. Harry’s will, which Zayn had been surprised Harry had even prepared before his passing had left  
the flat and everything in it to Zayn and Niall. 

The pair had asked Harry’s friend and neighbour Louis Tomlinson, a beauty shop owner and  
operator on high street, and his fiancée Liam Payne a director at the Regent’s Park Library if they  
would watch out for the place while they decided what to do with it all. Everything had been quiet  
until this a few minutes ago when Zayn received a call from Louis about Harry’s alarm going off in  
in the flat. Zayn found it odd, because he was certain the alarm had been unplugged since the last  
time he’d been in there the day after Harry’s death. 

Streaming sunlight and the blaring of his alarm once again going off woke Harry for good  
this time. He felt absolutely shattered, and swore he’d never let Caroline rope him for another  
night of drunken debauchery again, fun as it might have been. He slowly made his way to the  
bathroom cursing inwardly at the taste of his own breath which he couldn’t decide if it tasted more  
of old carpet or soiled underpants.

He groggily turned on the tap, and reached for his toothbrush, then for the toothpaste  
which he did not find but recalled he kept a spare tube on the shelf behind the vanity mirror.  
As he opened the vanity he half glanced at himself in the mirror, while swinging it open. He grabbed  
the tube of toothpaste and paused. He couldn’t have just seen what he thought he’d seen.

“ugh…must have drunk more than I thought” he said to no one. He then shut the vanity  
and gave himself a proper look. 

Outside the duplex Zayn heard an unfamiliar voice scream from inside the flat.

“HOLY MOTHER, IT WASN’T A DREAM, WHAT THE FUCK, HOLY SHIT, AHHH”


	2. I'm back, after a fashion...

Zayn rushed into the flat, after hearing the frantic yelling. Once inside carefully checked out  
each room for the source of the screaming which had stopped while Zayn made his way up the steps  
to the flat. He made his way through the flat, finding an empty living area, then kitchen finding it  
equally abandoned. He made his way to bedroom and found the unmade bed, at a cursory glance   
nothing seemed to be missing. Hearing the sound of running water he made his way to the en-suite  
bathroom and came upon the body of an unconscious girl. 

It seemed she’d fainted, he quickly checked her for signs of injury fearing she might have hit her head  
on something as she fainted. He noticed she wore only one of Harry’s old shirts and figured she   
was probably an overzealous fan, probably trying to take something with which to remember his friend.

Deciding she didn’t seem to pose any particular danger, given her state of near undress. He   
decided to try and wake her. “Miss, time to wake up.” He called to her as he gently tapped her shoulder.

“ugh…what happened?” asked the disoriented girl. 

“You fainted,” responded Zayn, looking the girl over .

“Mhmm…Zayn?” said the girl, “Mate you wouldn’t believe the strange dream I had last night,  
remind me never to drink anything El gives me again.”

“Have we met?” asked a now confused Zayn. “El?did she let you in here? I didn’t know she  
even had a key to the place.” He added.

“Why are you calling me miss?” questioned the girl, as she opened her bright emerald eyes   
looking directly at Zayn. “And why would I ever give El keys, I know I can be crazy mate, but I’m not  
stupid.” She said rubbing her head. When her gaze dropped down to her body, she again reacted   
in shock. She took in a large surprised breath, touching herself as if not believing what she was seeing.

She reached down, and with a horror struck look on her face she said, “it’s gone” then  
a more frantic “IT’S GONE” she yelled. 

“What’s gone you crazy bird?” asked Zayn, getting annoyed with the strange girl’s antics.

The girl reached up and grabbed Zayn by the collar and pulled him down so their eyes were   
Level. “It’s gone, my-my IT’S GONE, MY WILLY’S GONE”

“Alright, that’s enough out of you, I’m calling the police.” Said Zayn, having had enough  
of the girls manic behavior.

“What, Police? It’s me Harry you twat you can’t call the police on me, it’s my bloody house.”  
Said Harry, with a scandalized look on his face.  
Zayn momentarily taken aback by the girls comment, said “yeah? Prove it”

“What? That’s ridiculous, how am I supposed to prove I’m me, I’m just me.  
Said harry.

“You can either prove it, or the police can come take you away for trespassing.”  
Said Zayn having had enough of the craziness.

“Ok, ok you used to have wet dreams about Niall and it made you question your sexuality.”  
Saying the first thing that popped into his mind.

Zayn felt as if he’d been slapped in the face, he remembered those dreams he’d told Harry  
about them because he’d been so confused at the time. He’d sworn his best friend to secrecy, at   
that moment he couldn’t decide if he believed the crazy girl or if he felt angry with Harry for having  
shared one of his deepest secrets.

“That bastard, he told you that!?” yelled Zayn in anger.

Harry grew flustered at his friends incredulity, “You sometimes perve Louis bum when he comes  
over.” 

Zayn felt as if the air had been sucked out of his lungs. Only Harry knew that, he’d caught him  
looking last Christmas after a few too many pints. 

“In your defense mate, it is a very nice bum.” Said Harry, with a very cheeky expression  
plastered on his face.

“Holy fuck,” said Zayn, still not quite believing what was happening right in-front of him.  
“Harry? Holy shit,” he stopped, he couldn’t quite catch his breath. “Harry mate, is this real?” he asked,  
“How’s this even possible? You’re dead,…you, you we buried you, you’re dead.” Zayn dropped to the  
floor, completely in shock.

Harry flinched a bit at Zayn’s words, he didn’t really believe this was happening to him.  
Then seeing his best friends completely awed expression, deep down he knew it was somehow true.

“I was at Taylor’s, we were in the hot tub, and then Caroline and Eleanor were there. We   
were drinking, and then I was,…I don’t know where I was but I remember mist. Then I woke up here  
and then you barged in, and-and my willy’s gone, and you’re telling me I’m dead. But I’m not dead  
I’m here, I’m me Harry, just Harry.”

A few hours Later, at harry’s Flat.

Zayn was convinced, through some impossible and horrifyingly miraculous turn of events his   
best friend was alive after having died four months earlier. There was however one not so minor   
difference, Harry was girl. The more he thought about it, the more Zayn became certain that he   
probably belonged in a mental institution for even entertaining the ridiculous thought.

Harry stood before the mirror on his dresser touching his breasts. “Would you stop touching   
yourself, it’s freaking me out.” Said Zayn, oddly enraptured by the sight of his friend shamelessly   
exploring his new body.

“But they’re so firm, yet squishy.” Said Harry, breasts still firmly cupped in his now small hands.  
“I think they’re nice,” he said of his boobs, “Zayn, do you think they’re nice boobs?” asked a bemused   
Harry.

“What?” shocked out Zayn, “What? Yeah, I mean, um…yeah, uh…I have to call Niall.”  
Said Zayn, utterly red faced.

Zayn pulled out his mobile, but before he’d even begun to dial Niall’s number he was  
interrupted by a knock at the door. “Z, you in there mate? the front gate’s been left open.”  
Louis, Harry’s old neighbour called through the door.

“Are you going to get that?” asked Harry, still focused on looking himself over.

“Yeah Lou, give me a minute yeah.” Called out Zayn, while he gave Harry a desperate look.  
“How am I meant to explain who you are? You know Lou, he’ll ask questions.” 

Harry turned toward Zayn, with a look on his face that made it quite clear he thought Zayn was  
being ridiculous. “Just tell him the truth.”

“Are you MENTAL? He’d have me locked up for even saying it, and I might actually let him.  
I can’t just explain you’re back from the dead mate, I’m not even sure I believe it entirely myself.”  
Explained a rather distressed Zayn.

“ugh, when we were twelve I caught you wanking to a picture of Gems.” Deadpanned Harry.  
Zayn’s face paled for a second, not certain he could stand further proof that this girl standing before  
him was in fact his best friend since nursery school.

“Just tell him I’m a relative and I need a place to stay for a while.” Said Harry, disregarding  
what he clearly felt was Zayn’s panicking about the odd circumstance.

“Zayn, darling let me in so I know you’re not being held at gunpoint before I start freaking out  
here.” Called Louis again.

Zayn went and opened the door and was greeted by a rather flustered Louis.  
“agh…you’re alright then.” Said Louis as he pulled Zayn into a hug. “I was worried you were  
being held hostage.” 

“Nah, I’m just great see, everything’s perfect, nothing to be worried about at all.”  
said Zayn, hoping the tightness in his voice didn’t betray his actual nervousness.

“Uh huh, because you’re not acting strange at all.” Said Louis, and Zayn could practically  
feel the sarcasm dripping in his tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took forever to update this, It's just been a really busy term :(


End file.
